Absence

the precise moment. actions and words and thoughts. all present in the same moment. but as usual, all incoherent. one momentary lack of concentration and then the effect is prominent. not always, but sometimes. drops of blood trickle as you play with the knife, points lost. a pinch too much of salt, ecstasy lost. punctuations misplaced, the song is left undone. chocolate, coffee and cigarettes, off-white; the light dimmed. scarf around the face, warm breath and vision blurred. no brakes, soles burnt. a sick and twisted mind, yes. my hands are on the keyboard. my mind is on something, my eyes are on everything and i know, eventually, the spirit always dies away. forgiveness i ask, from no one but myself :)

elusive end...

I'm tired. Not for the day! Not from studies! I'm so tired. It's such a sick world. I'm tired of watching, tired of thinking. I'm tired of trying to decide. Choices and reasons mingle with my pityful mind, desolating all my actions. Vision blurred, sounds muffled, decisions diverted and shame washed away. I need a sense higher than reason. I don't need faith. I need clarity. I need help! Yes, I'm tired. Legs thrown and head under the blanket. Naked sleep, thats also what I need. I want the end. But, I know its never coming. It's such a sick world. Life's such a bitch.... SKAG.. I want my skag back. It helps me forget, my purpose and my troubles. And maybe, maybe it'll show me the end...